This is a new project that I am starting, I have gotten so many funny emails over the years and I usually just keep them and/or forward them. Now I am going to post them on this site and just forward the links. If I have time I'll set it up so other people can do the same and we can just have one place to store humorous things but until then, this is it.
Post-election Facebook is the worst. From liberals and their celebratory status updates to conservatives and their paranoid diatribes, social networking is more annoying than ever. For every few sane people with political opinions they can keep to themselves or argue reasonably, there's one person who never shuts up. These people are not of one affiliation, but from all over the political spectrum.
Very Conservative
The Very Conservative adheres to a strict diet of Fox News and The Washington Times. She's positive that the world is going to end with a democrat in office and lives solely to tell you about it. Before the election, she was posting 10-page theses about how electing Barack Obama meant surrendering the country to communism. Now that the election is over, she's smugly suggesting that anyone who voted differently than her must be legally retarded. She's quick to declare America's inadequacy in electing a worthy leader, and quick to forget her candidate won the last two elections. She'd be willing to see America completely destroyed under President Obama just to say, "I told you so."
Sample Status Update: Gertrude is rolling her eyes at America. I can't believe anyone would vote for a Marxist, but I guess you can blame the liberal media for painting him as a savior.
Unfortunately for them, Bikini Week has all but entirely been overshadowed by the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, or as I like to call it, Your Spank Bank: Live. Everyone from Adriana Lima to Heidi Klum to Marisa Miller hit the runway in the latest styles by VS. And I'm sure the styles are exactly why you're looking at these pictures. (CelebSlam)
Ready for your head to explode? The VS Fashion Show and Bikini Week collided in not one but two glorious photo shoots. 'But Sarah, how is this possible?' 'Shhh, there there. It'll all be over soon.' (Egotastic, IDLYITW)
And now, on to non-bikini/underwear news (cue unanimous groan).
Just kidding! This bitch is wearing a plastic thong and no top at the beach! Whaaaa! (WWTDD)
Suri Cruise has been named #1 on Forbes' list of Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots, but sadly only #8 on their list of Hollywood's Sexiest Baby Asses. (DListed)
Big news, guys! Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson finally had their baby last night. It's name? Oh, that's not important. *clears throat* Mmm. Or whatever. So let's--ok FINE. It's Bronx. Bronx Mowgli. Yeah, like the Jungle Book kid. WhatEVER I don't want to talk about it. (WWTDD)< />
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.
The Nominees
A) Tufts UniversitySubmitted by James
Professor: The statues were made out of tera cotta, who knows what that is? Genius: Isn't that a kind of cheese?
B) South Dakota State UniversitySubmitted by Nick
Professor was showing a picture of a medieval statue called "Virgin and Child"
The Brilliance: Wait, if she's a virgin, whose baby is she holding? Professor: That would be Mary holding Jesus.
It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather...
Only be able to move by moonwalking, or only be able to move by C-walking? From Beepus
Get caught reading fan-fiction, or Get caught writing fan-fiction? From Joel
Fight a normal bear, or fight a robot bear that's trained to kill you, but you get to have a gun? From Gil
Have Obama be president, or still have Heath Ledger alive to reprise his role as the Joker in the next Batman film? From Zack
Summon cheese anytime into your hand, or ripen fruit just by touching it? From matteo
Become a Pokemon trainer, or be admitted to Hogwarts? From Carr
Finally, this week's winner of the I Read Them All Award is Corey, who sent in this.
Do you purposely skip and not publish my WYRs or do you not read all of them? From Corey
Every single one. FYI people "Watch a porno with your parents or starring your parents" is never going to be put on here.
Do your parents not understandtechnology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurdtext messages? Do they use words like "MyFace," "SpaceBook," or "TheWorld Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!
Your parents' MapQuest.
Whenever my mom wants me to look something up on the internet, she tells me to "do a Google." Brendan M., UMass Boston
Any time I'm looking at a picture of a lol cat my dad comes up behind me and reads it with a Russian accent. Bob G
My mom just recently got a Facebook account. When I write on her wall or comment on a picture, she replies to the email notification that Facebook sends her and forwards it to me. Brandt S.
Tension Passive aggressive notes about the fridge Manslaughter trials Manslaughter convictions Pringles Attention paid to school work Times that hCHAD! WHAT THE F*CK? I TOLD YOU TO LAY THE F*CK OFF MY XBOX AND NOW IT'S FROZEN!
This is Benji my Whoodle which is a cross between a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier and a Poodle, w hile on vacation in Orient Point NY . He was adopted on March 1, 1996 when he was between 2-3 years..click the link for more
Welcome to the final edition of the Campus Chaos Challenge, presented by Kodak's new HD pocket video camera. This is it, people - the challenge that decides which of our three finalists will go home with what. Our third challenge, Anti-School Spirit, yielded tons of results, but there can only be one winner. Congratulations Shane, whose video 'Pretty Fly For A Golden Gael' received the highest rating from users. Shane is automatically entered into today's Final Challenge and will win either $500, $1,000 or $5,000.
Now for The Final Challenge. The three finalists have the full weekend to complete the challenge and upload their video by midnight on Monday. Then, based on user votes, we'll divvy up the $6,500 in prize money. Time to spam your Facebook friends for votes, Final Three. And now, without further ado, the last challenge.
Get as many people as you can to put underwear over their clothes and do a lap around campus. This is the final challenge, so both the number of people involved and the public nature of the run will matter. The more people you include, the better. The more unsuspecting people you involve, the better. It's all about creating a public spectacle, and an epic video to match.
Simple enough, right? So Final Three, take your cameras and get out there. We look forward to seeing the chaos you create.
Ethan: Huge weekend for college football coming up, so let's get right to our picks: can the Citadel beat Florida?
Amir: If their game against Webber International is any indication, and it is not, then no!
Meyer has been preparing for Florida's next game all week by shooting PSA posters
Ethan: I like Florida's team a lot, particularly after that rout of South Carolina, but their road's going to be tough: Florida State, Alabama, and then the SEC championship to make the title game. Then again, Urban Meyer made Alex Smith look like an NFL QB, so I'll never doubt him.
Amir: Jokes on you, 49ers! Why isn't Mike Singletary laughing? If you could choose any two teams to play in the championship game, who would it be? Keep in mind, you can't choose Wake Forest.
Ethan: At this point I prefer not watching Wake...it's sort of painful. I think the best game to watch would be Texas Tech-Florida. Those two offenses are both fun to watch. I do, however, enjoy a good Texas game, just to watch Mack Brown go berserk on the sideline. BoDog's offering 8:1 odds that his head will explode before the seaon's over.
Amir: Take it, and parlay that with the over of any game Tech plays this year. Oddly enough my choice is a game that's happening anyway. Citadel/Florida. Bowl game idea: The Unrespected Undefeated Bowl. This year could be Utah vs. Ball State!
Ethan: Can Boise State play winner?
Amir: "hey just need to sign up ahead of time. It's a very lax bowl game.
Ethan:This is why we need a small-conference playoff system, people! Thank God President Obama's already on the case. If he really wants to fix sports, though, he'll appoint Bud Selig to a cabinet position to get him out of MLB's offices. Come on, Barack: just appoint Selig to something. Doesn't have to be anything important. Secretary of State will do. Diplomats will love making fun of his haircut!
Amir: Sorry, Hilary is the front runner, and she's got a haircut people are already making fun of.
Ethan: Let's pick the big games: Who are you taking in Texas Tech-Oklahoma this weekend? What about BYU-Utah and Michigan State-Penn State?
120 likes
